Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
