Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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