nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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