she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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