On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
