Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
