problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she told me i tasted like america
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
