I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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