I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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