Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
