I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
