do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
