he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
