i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
