Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize