im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
