sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
