i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
