at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
