so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
