Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
