YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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