i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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