i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
