She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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