glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
