Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
