its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
