Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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