i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
