Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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