The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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