I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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