the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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