So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
