I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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