In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
