I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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