We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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