It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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