I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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