Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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