and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
