thus making me awesome and them whores
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
