do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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