so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
