so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
