so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
