Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's no shave November. This is our time.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
