just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
