day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
