brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
