i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
