Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
