your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I love you. Go after that dick
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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