redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
this hospital has no fireball
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
