I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Mom said you looked used
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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