What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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