then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
