I wanna bring you to show and tell
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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