nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize