Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
