remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize